Someday You Will Ache Like I Ache

i wonder if it's all my fault?
why am i never good enough?



i don't even know what i have gotten myself into.

i don't care about anything anymore.


things were fine. but then suddenly in a matter of 10 minutes, i come crashing down again.

i am trying so hard not to relapse.
usually when this happens, i would come to you.

but i can't this time.



i'm sorry for everything.

that i moved.
that i fucked up so many times.
that i didn't appreciate you.
that i didn't tell you the truth.
that i let you down.
that i let you get to me.

chelsea warned me about this.
i should have listened.
i told her it was going to be ok.
that we were both happy.

but i guess you could have been happier.

i should have fucking known when you started smoking again.
that was the red flag, wasn't it.

i saw it coming.
i don't think you realize how much you talk about her.

and at the park.
you said you might go to the concert with her. and you saw the jealousy.
you said i didn't have to worry.

and i believed you.



i did the best i could