11.11.2008

Don't You Give Me Your Love


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I am reading this book.



Suze Rotolo was only a few years my senior when she experienced life. Really experienced life. Today at work I had a revelation. The power went out. The only sound was me and Matthew talking to keep each other company. We sat for what seemed like hours playing twenty questions. After what was only about 45 minutes, our boss started to come up and tell the customers to leave.

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I could not wrap my head around the reason they were sitting at barnes and noble for almost an hour with no air and no lights and no coffee. None of this mattered. When my boss told this group of people to leave it blew my mind to hear them beg her to let them stay. Here we are in the middle of a storm and all I want is to go home and lay in my bed. They would rather stay at barnes and noble. So much that they bribe the manager to let them stay.

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At that moment, my life flashed before my eyes. I knew I was not dying but it made me realize that I would rather die than live forever like I am now. If I ever become the kind of person who would rather be at barnes and noble than out living life, I don't want to live at all.

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What's the point of living if you can't feel alive?
If I can grow up to be half the woman Suze was and is, I will be happy.

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