like a complete unknown

i'm sorry.
but i just can't say this to your face.
i can't.

i'm not your little doll.
maybe i won't be here when you finally make up your mind.

you can tell me to move on and find someone else.

i did.

and that worked out so well.

i think i am just so scared that you made a mistake.
that you are blind and dumb for ever loving me in the first place.
it didn't bother me.

but now i am afraid that no one else will make that mistake.
that no one wants me or ever will.

ben told me last night that he didn't think he will ever break up with his girlfriend.
i know he didn't know the weight of what he said.
but what he was really saying is that you aren't worth it.

8 years and he waits to tell me how he feels until he finds someone better than me.

It was the second you put your arms around me,
when you hugged me for the last time.
It's then when I wished everything would have paused.
It's the moment I will cherish always.
It's the second of feeling loved & safe that will stay in my heart forever.
It's the words "I love you" coming out of your mouth.
It's all the things that keep me loving you, keeps me missing you,
& keeps me wanting you back.

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