12.17.2007

there's pixies tugging at my hair


I was hoping I could tell you this with two feet on the ground
But I don't think I can talk, because I'm not very stable right now

In this dream that I had....
"You can't kill heroes"
that's what we said to them
"You can't kill us"




i realized today what keeps me going day by day.

knowing at the end of the day that there is, in fact, someone who loves me.



there are people in my life that are keeping me here.
there are people here who save my life everyday.

no matter what i do, i am not alone.
maybe there is no one here holding me at night.
but i have hope that it won't be that way forever.




I found fountains of imagery that are passing
Through me like a knife
From a group of friends that prefer to attack from the back
I'm trying to grasp concepts of your dimensions
While my universe is laced around your wrist
I am the bracelet you sport
I am everything that you have ever missed, and more



sometimes, i get lonely. but i think i finally realize that it's normal.
everybody gets lonely.
if they didn't, half of my itunes library would not exist.
i would have no idea who nick thomas.

(nick thomas is the man behind the spill canvas)



days like today give me hope that, even i, can be happy.
i finally believe that i can survive the next year.

a year from now, i will be 18.
if i can make it to 18, everything will be ok.




Your picture in my hand
I am at the mercy of your photograph
The halo above your head
Has set ablaze the heavens my angel
It's 3 AM and I am sneaking out your back door
A goodnight kiss and I am stumbling to my car

And I never thought I'd feel this safe again
In a million years
And lying next to you, and hoping that it's true
And with you I'm truly in my element, my element with you

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