Life, Interrupted

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep;
And if I die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take.

no ranting, no complaining, no philosophy

tonight, i am simply existing.

so i'm a little sadder than usual tonight, oh well.

i can't remember ever feeling so alone on my entire life.
we were so close but things changed.
why doesn't he want to talk to me?
what did i do wrong?

yesterday he was holding me.
i have never felt so safe.
but it almost feels like it isn't worth the pain of my heart ripping when he leaves.
it gets worse every time.

i wonder how my eulogy will sound.
will anyone come to the funeral?
i would call them all hypocrites because they all deserted me in life.
will anyone grant my last wishes?
will anyone care?

i don't want to think this way anymore.
i don't want to hurt anymore.

Susanna: I didn't try to kill myself.
Dr. Potts: What were you trying to do?
Susanna: I was trying to make the shit stop.

-Girl, Interrupted

i don't want to miss you like this.
i want you here.
i want you to die.
i want you to leave him.
i want you to walk out.
i want you to walk back in.

No comments: